Ever get stuck in a rut of trusting people and then getting betrayed; then starting to heal and letting your guard down only to be betrayed again? This painful cycle pushes many to shut down and close the shell but we have to learn that the more anointing we have the more the enemy notices & if people have a door of access.... the enemy knows that the ones closest to us are the ones to target the most. So... get used to it.
Some of it is a maturity thing as well. We have to grow in discernment. Are we finding our fulfillment in telling the Lord everything and conversing with Him, or do we lack a bit of trust and find ourselves feeding our pearls to swine? Do we use our pearls to get attention? Ouch!
As we grow in the anointing, however, we need to be on our toes and be 'bigger' than offenses. The enemy loves to break up relationships simply because it is in the foundation of his fall because: "Where 2 or 3 are gathered, I AM there in the midst". It's just like in the scary movies… why does that one always break off from the group and go alone? We need to put our spiritual glasses on and see what the enemy is doing & that it's not the people attacking us, but in their weak spots... it's the enemy. Sure the people agree with that wrong spirit ... but they are currently blind to what they are doing-- forgive them, they know not what they do.
I often tell my elder son, "honey, it takes 2 to be in a fight and you're older and 'know better', I expect you to be the mature one and let this thing go to keep the peace." So in that, can you also see that if God is raising you up, yet your attacker is more of a babe, Father God does expect more of you as well. Hand that pain over to Him, sit at His footstool and learn to discern. As time grows you'll realize His Spirit was warning you and giving you discernment as to be more clear so the enemy wouldn't come in to twist things… was warning you not to divulge certain things to certain people because they are weak in an area; was warning you it was a pearl given to you and ONLY for you. (Kudos to journaling…. if you haven't started, hop to it…. some things you learn from HISTORY, and if you don't record your history…. you better have an amazing memory LOL!)
So if this is indeed a recurring cycle, know the enemy is having a great time with your REACTION. Ever hear the phrase "Go round that mountain one more time, sweet Jesus"? The cycle persists because 'IT WORKS'! Perhaps you are looking at the person & your anger, hurt, & caving in etc. is directed towards them. So you need to shift how you are seeing all of this... if the person is a pawn (which they are) then you can begin to see as Jesus views this & love the person & target the enemy instead. If your reaction is going to send you into a pity party every time-- then the enemy is going to play this card over & over. Then you'll end up a wounded, dried-up shell upon the floor. If you learn to see it for what it is...if you therefore STAND...then he'll hafta try something new because if he can't get a rise outta ya....he has to fleeeeeeee.
Ladies… this is harder for us women to deal with because we are social & we do get our hearts wrapped up in things; we do pass out our pearls and more frequently wear our hearts on our sleeves... but when we KNOW what the enemy is doing we can really overcome!