You became a Christian… you received tremendous freedom… now the scriptures are opened to you and there's no denying that God is real, but now you're beginning to grieve and sorrow. Perhaps your eyes are too wide open now… for now friends that laugh and talk about getting drunk on the weekends, you know, that thing you used to do too… now seems so pointless, meaningless and a waste of time. Yet these are your friends, and try as you might to plant seeds, you know that bible thumping them will push them further away, yet you also recognize that you are not their Savior and they must choose for themselves.
Suddenly you feel stuck. You feel doubt-- because you do not feel joy.
What happens after the Honeymoon?
A friend shared this lament with me… honestly sharing how bitter it feels. This is normal. Every Christian on the planet goes through this, just like every newly married couple goes through this. You're in this commitment that is more real and tangible than your bank statement. It's in your midst, it surrounds you, it's undeniable, what the Lord has done for you. But that first joy at the altar is now the reality that you have to take out the trash, mow the yard and change diapers and you look around and wonder "I'm supposed to be happy and thankful surrounded by this?" I remember when my husband called his mother, after we had our fist child, and lamented some parenthood issue and she just laughed at him! Admittedly, shocking to him at the time…because he was really looking for padded sympathy!
When your eyes have opened & you 'know better'.... welcome to the reality of what carrying our cross is about. It's hard because the 'world' is all you've ever known. In the world you didn't care about your dirty laundry… you didn't pick up after yourself… you could gossip to plenty of people to get the sympathy your flesh demands… but now…. OUCH.
When this happened to me, (when I first had my conversion experience)... I was already in a relationship with a guy that wasn't a Christian. Suddenly my eyes were opened... and when the 'big issues' in life came up I would always choose the God way & he would go the other way. It didn't matter that we had tons in common or common friends.... I realized that I was now with 'a stranger'. Whenever I would share Jesus & the excitement I had because the veil had been removed from my eyes... the boyfriend would only ask pointed questions with an agenda behind them. I continued to 'cry out'... but, I was not this man's Savior, and if he rejects mine….ahhhhh, the dichotomy, the turmoil, the doubt because of the sorrow and lack of peace. We can't make people love Jesus…. this is the sorrow... man's free will to willfully reject!
I've pointed out many times that in the scriptures it says the lost cannot enter in lest the veil be removed.
"…but whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away." 2 Corinthians 3:16
Jesus often did parables to get people to receive biblical truth without banging it over their heads. See the heart must change for anything biblical to make sense. By the parables he got people to DECIDE either pro or vs those precepts. The ones that chose 'life'....if they would continue to follow Him they would begin to hear the scriptures which would then open up to them. Most people only want to smell the rose, not to tend it.
But a sniff isn't relationship... to hold it in one's hand's...thorns and all ---IS.
*Earnestness TRUMPS 'comfortableness' every time! Because even when we ‘can't do it’... IF WE ASK...HE WILL do that hard thing for us!Because I continued to cry out, the Lord blessed me to move away from that guy and THEN I was able to surround myself with healthy fellowship --to grow in the Word and relationship with Him.
Have you asked Father God for help? --For His change for your life? It may not be a 'move away' like I had, but will He not hear you and move on your behalf?
"The LORD is far from the wicked, But He hears the prayer of the righteous." Proverbs 15:29
The only people that get disappointed in their prayers are the ones that tell God what they want Him to do because they think they know it all.
("But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE." James 4:6)
But that's not how it works, right? We seek HIM, ask Him, and He answers.
"Yet they seek Me day by day and delight to know My ways, As a nation that has done righteousness And has not forsaken the ordinance of their God. They ask Me for just decisions, They delight in the nearness of God." Isaiah 55:2
After all, His ways are higher than we can comprehend, right?
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD." Isaiah 55:8
So let me recap:
• Ask God to change your situation
Counter the alienation and sorrow by asking God to change your situation for His Glory, without dictating what your flesh wants to do.
"In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:6
• Let Jesus do the work
Pray for those that were Pre-'your conversion', asking Him how to best sow seeds, recognizing that He is the Savior not you, lest you carry unnecessary yoke upon yourself.
"For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:30
• Look to God, not your 'comfort zone'
Focus on the Promises of God, despite whatever it looks like around you. Your focus is on the 'Big Picture'. If you go to college and train hard and get a Master's Degree, you can get a fantastic job. On the same token, if heaven is our home, should you not also be studying hard and getting your Kingly Master's degree because where we are going is the goal.
"For behold, the kingdom of God is in your midst." Luke 17:21b
And with Jesus in our Holy temples… it begins Now!
"For we have become partakers of Christ, if we hold fast the beginning of our assurance firm until the end…" Hebrews 3:14
With eyes wide open... the sadness is in that what used to be fun or happy isn't that anymore because you 'know too much'. It can also be because you're now a target for the enemy. Anyone that 'knows too much', what does he (satan) want to do with you? So there's some warfare involved there too.
So, You may be out there feeling this too, and you are right IT IS bitter, but it is bitterSWEET, if we turn our focus in the right direction….. the bigger picture; because nothing can touch the promise of heaven when you 'know too much'!