I have fear and think we are stupid to consider buying a house that requires so much work and mold issues. Then there's the factor that we both have demanding jobs that we can never seem to keep up and I'm fighting this damn depression/anxiety.... there's days I wish I was just dead. I would never do that...cause I would never hurt my children like that, but to be honest that is how I feel. I know I have so much to be grateful for but I feel like I fail at everthing...and I'm just so tired of trying. Monday I'm going to talk to my dr office to try something new....I feel like a yo yo with my moods.....I slept for 5 hrs yesterday during the day. today I slept for 6hrs.
hearingGod's Reply Letter:
I believe your depression & anxiety are spiritual issues. The church doesn't teach this stuff...everyone pushes medication. That's why we left the padded pews...because they don't consider the supernatural (they push a 'form of godliness, denying the power thereof'). So, listen to the teaching & consider it. I had 'generational deliverance' (applied Jesus' forgiveness to the unrepentant sins of my forefathers)...after that, my head was quiet as a pin. I never realized how much of the voices in my head were NOT ME! So then, they'd try & come back & then I'd really notice em' & not let em' take me over. You have to just take every single negative thing that comes into your head & take note of it & then look up scriptures that say who Jesus says you are & defend yourself.
When you pray...express to God that you want to be free of this stuff, and He will begin to teach you & deliver you. If it's really bad (the tormenting thoughts)...getting deliverance done would be the best, especially if you struggle or are weak in faith about it all. Any sort of deliverance really cleans your slate of gained access of the enemy.
I want you to understand that you're a wonderful person---you really are. This stuff that's 'ugly' --these thoughts aren't you! ---it's NOT! I can see that....I've been there. This is absolutely the understanding behind the scripture:
"We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.."
Please do read this verse in context for greater revelation.